So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
