we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
