Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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