Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
