don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Randomize
