dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
too bad you live with your parents still
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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