You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
this is an emotional support booty call