who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I accidentally burped into my bong.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof