Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
21 People Reveal The Most Embarrassing Secrets They Know About Someone
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter