Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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