Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
She said her name was "party"
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Randomize
