Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Fuck appropriateness.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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