Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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