so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
Randomize
