PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize