Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
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