Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Randomize
