woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
