yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Randomize
