My sheets look like a crime scene.
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
she looked like the before picture.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
The struggles of a small town man whore
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Randomize
