I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
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