I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
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