I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Randomize