sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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