I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Randomize
