hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
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Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
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All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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