Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize