I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
you never un-have a 4some
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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