I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Randomize
