is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
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