Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
