Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize