i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
I enjoy the company of your penis
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize