I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
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