I puked a lego.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I think weed is turning my hair brown
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
