yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
