he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
