too bad you live with your parents still
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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