I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Randomize
