so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize