Already got asked if we're dating
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize
