Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
