Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Randomize
