thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
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