That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
