i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
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