I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
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