I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
