I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Randomize
