1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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