I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
