census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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