I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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