Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
