it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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