Your dad touched me again.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
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