At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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