There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
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