I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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