she looked like the bat from fern gully.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Randomize
