i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
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