Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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