All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Randomize
