I like my sex mixed with concussions.
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I met the friendliest cop last night
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
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