he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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