I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Randomize
