She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
