Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Randomize
